Family Guy Porn Story: Peter Reborn – Chapter 4
Chapter 4
It was the best of
times; it was the worst of times. But for Meg, it was the worst of
times. Meg was in the closet acting like a lunatic until Chris opened
the closet door to get another blue t-shirt out of the closet. Thats
when he discovered a crazy Meg.
Chris: shocked Oh my
god. I have a red t-shirt in here. Here Bart. Gives the red t-shirt
to Bart Simpson. Bart then puts it on, and climbs out the window
Chris: Oh my god. Meg,
what are you doing in my closet? I think its time you become like
one hundred percent of the Caroline in the City viewers, and come out
of the closet.
Meg: Cant. Monkey.
Angry.
Chris: You saw the evil
monkey? Where is he at now?
Meg: Hiding. Planning.
Eat.
Chris: Hes hiding,
and planning on eating you?
Meg: Turkey.
Chris: Hey, nobody
calls me a turkey. Oh wait. Hes eating turkey?
Meg: Yes. Chris. Oh my
god. Chris. Where am I?
Chris: Ummm, youre
in my closet because of the evil monkey.
Meg: Oh. Im not
afraid of him anymore. He only thinks oh. He thinks Im ugly.
She runs into her room and cries because even a monkey finds her
ugly
Chris: Talks to
himself I feel bad now. Walks over to bed, and sits down at the
foot I want to try and do something for Meg. She is so upset. I
know. Dad can help her because he has a new look on life.
Screen cuts to Peter
sitting on the couch watching Jeopardy. Shows whats happening on
Jeopardy
Alex Trebek: This form
of gas is released by using your sphincter.
Contestant #1: farts
Alex: Sorry, you didnt
put it in a question form. The correct way to put it is, what is
farts
Screen goes back to
Peter on the couch. Chris walks up to Peter
Chris: Dad. Can you
help me with something?
Peter: Sure son. What
is it you want help with?
Chris: Well
Peter: interrupts
Anything you want.
Chris: I want
Peter: interrupts
again Anything!
Chris: I wanted to help
Meg out. She is so upset because she thinks she is ugly. I know shes
ugly, but she still has feelings. I learned that at school.
Flashback: Chris is at
school and the teacher is talking. Teacher has a projector snapping
to different animals
Teacher: presses
button. Picture is a walrus Does this animal have feelings?
Class: Yes Mrs.
Keeping.
Teacher: presses
button. Picture is an elephant Does this animal have feelings?
Class: Yes Mrs.
Keepings.
Teacher: presses
button. Picture is Meg Does this animal have feelings?
Class: Yes Mrs.
Keepings.
Teacher: presses
button. Picture is Christina Aguillera Does this animal have
feelings?
Class: No Mrs.
Keepings.
Teacher: Correct
students, you all get lollipops.
Flashback ends. Shows
Peter and Chris talking to each other on the couch
Peter: I dunno Chris.
What do I have to do?
Chris: I dunno. You
said you were going to dedicate your life to helping others. I
figured since Meg is something or other, than you would help her.
Maybe you could have a father to daughter talk with her.
Peter: Thats a great
idea. I know exactly what Ill do.
Cuts to scene. Meg is
lying down on her bed, with her face in her pillow. Peter crashes
through the door
Peter: Is there a Meg
Griffin here?
Meg: looks at Peter
What do you want?
Peter: Come with me. I
can make you feel a lot better about yourself.
Meg: Fine. If I have
to.
Cuts to Meg and Peter
standing on top of the earth. Peter starts singing
Peter:
There are some things
in life
That arent up to the
wife.
This is one of those
things.
You think youre not
cute,
But you dont know
the truth
And that is why Ill
sing.
You have a lot of good
stuff
To say about you, so
dont huff.
Youll be happy with
a guy.
Time is what you need
And that is what youll
feed
For thats the
meaning of life.
If you dont believe
me
Then will you please
retrieve me
My beer and slippers
too
Because if you dont
want to hear me
Then I want you to beer
me
And yes, you belong in
the zoo
But some guy will see
past that
Hell want to be with
you, brat,
And then youll be
happy
And if it doesnt
happen
Then my lips are now
flappin
And then you can blame
your pappy.
Song ends, and shows
Peter sitting on the bed next to Meg
Peter: Did that help
honey?
Meg: Yeah. I think it
did. Thanks dad hugs Peter
Peter: Ah. Dont
touch me. I mean your welcome sweetheart.
Meg: Wheres my hat?
Shows Alaska
Eskimo #1: Hey. What is
this? A pink hat?
Eskimo #2: Can we eat
it?
Eskimo #1: I dont
know. But we can catch squirrels with it and eat them.
Eskimo #2: Alright!
high fives Eskimo #1
Clip ends
End of chapter 4
Writers note: Im
sorry to all Alaskans who read this. I dont think of you this way,
its just the stereotype you have. Also, I do not own anything in
this chapter accept the comedy.