Family Guy Porn Story: Peter Reborn – Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Chris is hitchhiking
to Quahog. But he accidentally spelled Quahog. Instead, the sign
reads Hog Town. A trucker pulls over. They start talking.

Trucker: Hi Boy. You
look like some fresh meat. But why are you heading to New York?

Chris: New York? Im
heading to Quahog. (Looks at sign, and realizes it says Hog Town) Oh,
sorry. I dont know how to spell.

Trucker: And?

Chris: And what? Oh
wait. (Thinks for a second) Im not that fresh, Im thirteen.

Trucker: Well, thats
a mighty lucky number now isnt it? Hop in, Ill drive you to
Quahog.

Chris: Thanks mister!
Youre awesome! Youre more awesome than that time I almost
drowned in the fountain.

(Flashback: Chris is
walking towards a water fountain in the school hallway to get a
drink, he then goes to take a drink. He pushes the button in, and the
water explodes filling the hallway with water up to the ceiling.
Shows Chris trying to breathe when hes under water, then a mermaid
comes along and saves his life by opening a classroom door. That room
is full of water. She goes and opens the window, and throws Chris
outside. The water doesnt spill out somehow. She then closes the
window, and Chris looks at her and smiles and waves to her. We can
see her back, and she takes off her top and all you see is a bunch of
hair waving around in the water from her chest. Flashback ends)

(Cuts to house: Lois is
reading a magazine while Stewie is in his high chair.)

Stewie: Damn you vile
woman. I shall remain in this high chair until you take me out! And I
order you to take me out at once!

Lois: Awww, sweetie,
thats not how you talk to mommy. It sounds like you need a nap!

Stewie: I do not need a
nap, and I do not need that pacifier. If you come anywhere near me
with that, I shall kill you! (The pacifier goes in his mouth, and he
slowly falls asleep)

Brian: (Walks into
room) Hey Lois, wheres Peter at?

Lois: I dont know.
He should be home any minute with Chris. They went to the Moon to
relax.

Brian: Relax? All he
does at work is sit on his ass and drink beer with his friends, and
he needs to relax?

Lois: Its better
than what you do at home all day.

(Shows what Brian does
on a typical day)

Brian: (Wakes up from
the foot of Peters bed, and looks at the clock. Its 12:00. We
can tell its PM because its bright outside. He then goes
outside next to a tree, and uses the bathroom. He walks into the
kitchen, and pours himself a cup of coffee. He sits down with his
coffee, and reads the newspaper. He goes upstairs and lays in the
wall way, and washes himself. He goes back down in the kitchen, and
makes himself an alcoholic beverage. He goes into the computer room,
and types on the computer for awhile. He is writing his story, and
talking to some girl names BetsyisWetsy69 in a chat room. He goes
back down stairs, and eats dinner. It is late, and he goes to bed on
the foot of Peters bed.)

(His day is over)

Well, I still do more
than him. Besides the fact I sleep in, use the bathroom outside, read
the newspaper, drink a coffee, and an alcoholic beverage, then write
a story, and have cyber sex, I have a better day than Peter.

(Shows a typical day
for Peter)

Peter: (on the boat
with Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland) Alright, I got one, I got one!
Which character from the Powerpuff Girls would you have sex with?

Quagmire: I would do
Buttercup. Her name makes my pants gooey! OH!

Joe: Definitely
Buttercup. She has beauty in her, that none of the others have.

Cleveland: I would do
Mojo Jojo. He is the closest one that looks like Loretta.

Peter: What? Are you
serious? You cant be serious. Thats just sick! I always thought
you would be into something else besides that! I mean, thats just
disgusting. Buttercup? Jeez.

Quagmire: Well who
would you have sex with?

Peter: I would have sex
with Bubbles. I think the name would kind of tickle.

Quagmire: I never
thought of it like that. I would have sex with Bubbles. Giggity
giggity giggity goo!

(His day is over)

Lois: Well, you may be
right, but at least hes planning on taking Meg clubbing when he
gets home. Megs been looking forward to it all day.

Brian: Where is Meg?

(Shows Meg in her room
in front of the mirror)

Meg: (talking to
herself in the mirror) Hi gorgeous. Who are you? Meg? Wow. What a
beautiful name to go with such a beautiful face. Me? Awww. Thank you.
(Kisses the mirror)

(Shows Peter walk in
the front door of the house)

Peter: Im home!

Lois: Hi Peter. What
took you so long?

Peter: I got side
tracked.

Lois: Wheres Chris?

Peter: Hell be here
any second. I wanted to race him, and see if I could beat him or not.

Lois: Did you win?

Peter: Do you see
Chris?

Lois: Hes right
there! (Points to a truck dropping Chris off, and Chris has lipstick
on. He sees Lois and Peter looking at him, so he rubs it off fast.)

Peter: Oh. I see.

Lois: Well, that
doesnt matter. I told Meg you were going to take her clubbing
tonight. Is that all right with you?

Peter: I can choose any
club I want to choose right?

Lois: Yes. Just dont
take her to any sleazy strip clubs this time.

(Flashback: Peter and
Meg are in a strip club full of smoke)

Peter: Weeee! (starts
talking to one of the strippers) Hey, hey. Take your top off for
Chris here. Hed love to see your boobs.

Meg: DAD! Im not
Chris for the 357th time. Im Meg!

Peter: Holy crap!
Chris? How did you do that? You look and sound just like Meg.

(Flashback ends. Scene
cuts to Peter and Meg in the car.

Peter: (Behind the
wheel driving) Alright Meg, Im going to take you clubbing. Youre
going to love it.

Meg: I cant wait to
get to the Par.

Peter: The Par? What
the hell are you talking about? I said I was going to get better than
par. You know, a birdie? An eagle? An albatross?

Meg: What the hell are
YOU talking about? Mom said we were going clubbing.

Peter: And we are, Meg.
(Peter drives into something called The Klondike)

Meg: Dad? Why are we at
a golf course?

Peter: Were going
clubbing. Were going to take our clubs, and play some golf.

Meg: But DAD! I wanted
to go out and meet some cool guys.

Peter: Oh! Well, Im
sure there are some cool guys here. Like over there. Thats
Professor Honeydoodle.

Meg: A teacher?

Peter: No. His first
name is Professor. His parents accidentally had him, and they didnt
like him since day one, so they called him Professor so he would get
beat up when he was growing up.

(Flashback to Professor
Honeydoodles school years)

Professor: I say, I do
like playing golf! Is anybody with me?

Student #1: Hell no.
Why would we hang out with you?

Student #2: Wed be
thrilled to ummm partake in this uhhh event. Yes. Ummm
quite!

Student #1: What are
you doing? Oh nevermind I got you.

(Student #1 and #2 are
beating Professor with his golf clubs)

(Flashback ends)

End of Chapter 7

Please Review people. I
would love to make more chapters, but I need people to start
reviewing. Also, I do not own any of the products or names in this
story, and none of this is patent pended by me.